FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
Questions answered by Mother Mary, who is a Master in her own right. She works with a pale, pink light of unconditional love.
Q1. DO I PICK MY FAMILY?
A. Yes, Dear One, on the Higher planes, you sit with angelic guides and teachers and decide which lessons you would like to learn in the next life, what karma must be repaid and which individuals you need to interact with, in order to achieve these ends. Families are the perfect setting for interacting and learning. You cannot ignore them, you love and hate them and they provide social conditioning, for the person you wish to become. As a baby, you are totally dependent on your Mother and Father to provide, food, warmth, shelter, stimuli and hopefully, love and support. As you age, you develop your personality, with help or hindrance from their reaction to you. As a teenager you become more independent and take in more values from your peer groups and social interactions. Normally, as an adult, you break away from the family group, in order to develop yourself more fully as an individual and later establish your own family group.
It is important then, that you choose the best people, who will fit easily into these teaching roles. This is a typical scenario. A spirit on the higher planes, Karen, wishes to incarnate, primarily to develop tolerance, hope, love and compassion. She has outstanding karma owed to three beings, from experiences in past lives. So, she chooses one being to be her mother, Rita, another to be her father, Ted and the third to be her brother, Jack, in her next life.
In a past life in India, she deliberately caused the death of the person who is to be her mother. She wants to repay this negative karma, by being extra loving and helpful to her mother. In another past life in Russia, as a cossack, she saved the life of the being, who she decides will be her next father, Ted. He owes her good karma and will help her to develop the characteristics of hope and faith. The third being, will become her brother, Jack. She was intolerant of him in a past life in Italy and maligned him in front of a group of people, leading to him becoming a social outcast. She asks, that he be the type of person who will cause her problems n trouble, but that she will learn, never the less, to be tolerant n compassionate towards him. She has never incarnated to England before, so she chooses to live in a small village there, in a middleclass existance.
The beings, who are to become her family, have their own agendas to work out and they lovingly agree to take on these family roles. In Heaven there is no anger, no hatred, no resentment. But, we do often feel that we need to voluntarily repay, any negativity that we have caused to others and repay them for the good they have done to us. This is called repaying karma. What you sow, you reap.
So, yes, Dear One, you do chose your family to be - with their loving permission.
Q2. DO WE CHOOSE THE PHYSICAL BODIES WE WILL HAVE?
A . Yes, since your body is a combination of your parent’s genes, you choose a combination which will best serve you in learning lessons. Note, that this is not always the most perfect or healthy body, but one, which may teach you new aspects of your spiritual personality. For instance, taking the example again of Karen, if her father, Ted, has a weak chest and her mother Rita, has asthma, it is likely that she will inherit this trait. She may catch colds easy and spend many times, as a child in bed, in the winter months. However, this may lead to her filling in her time, with reading many books or playing with her computer. Karen may gain greater knowledge, through enforced rest. It may also allow her to spend valuable time with her mother. Rita may have initially, had a slight aversion to Karen, caused by a deep subconscious memory of her daughter killing her in a past life. Because, she spend so much time with her daughter while she is sick, both overcome their instinctive negative feelings and learn to genuinely love and understand one another. This may continue all through their lives and as the daughter, she will gladly aid her mother, whenever physical or emotional help is needed.
Overcoming a physical defect can also help you to grow as an individual, making your traits of determination and courage stronger. Many championship athletes began life with a physical weakness, which they later overcame and turned into an asset.
Q3. WHAT OTHER LESSONS CAN OUR PARENTS TEACH US?
A. Well, using our hypothetical family as an example, the father of the family Ted, may encourage the sick child Karen, to believe in faith and hope. She will get better eventually! With exercise, her chest may become stronger! She will be able to achieve all the goals that she has set for herself! He may take her, in the summer, to swimming lessons and help her develop and strengthen her breathing, through competitive swimming. He is unconsciously, repaying her the good karma that she established in a past life, by giving her encouragement, hope and support.
Q4. WHAT LESSONS CAN OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS TEACH US?
A. Well, in this scenario, the brother Jack, may be a jealous boy, who resents the attention that his sick sister is getting from her parents. He may be mean to her, teasing, pinching etc. Later, he may become a drug addict, upsetting and depressing the entire family. Karen has the opportunity here, to learn tolerance and compassion for him. To either help Jack to overcome his problems or just, to stand back and let him lead his life with detached, unconditional love. Remember, last life with him, she interfered and caused him pain. This time she can develop tolerance and acceptance. Of course, brothers and sisters can also teach us to share, love, hate, fight, discern, care, feel, help etc. the list is endless. What have your sisters and brothers, taught you?
Q5. I HAVE A REALLY TERRIBLE FAMILY. WHY WOULD I HAVE CHOSEN THIS?
A. Dear One, there must have been many lessons that you could only learn, within a dysfunctional family setup. Maybe, you are learning, how not to raise a family! Maybe, you are learning tolerance, patience, faith or how to overcome adversity. Or perhaps, you are repaying some karma. It is possible, that you have had many incarnations in perfectly, happy families and wanted to experience the worst! It is a possibility, that you will never know why you chose such a dysfunctional family, the important thing, is not to follow their pattern of families. Start your own family pattern, with love, compassion, patience and understanding. Remember, how you felt in certain circumstances and don’t repeat their negative reactions. Be grateful, when you find loving people. An old saying is, ‘The most beautiful flower starts it’s life in the muck and mud’! Let yourself grow into that beautiful flower. And please, don’t hold resentment to your failed family. You chose them as a family, to learn certain lessons. You have done that. Send them love mentally and forgive them. Hatred only causes pain in you. Let the pain go.
Q6. WHY DIDN’T I PICK A WEALTHY, POWERFUL, HEALTHY FAMILY TO BE BORN INTO?
A. You didn’t need those lessons. Or maybe, you have done that scenario, many times over and it was time for a change. Even healthy, wealthy families have problems. And if by chance, you chose a quiet, loving, supportive family, where there was no friction or problems - where would be the challenges? Didn’t you come for adventure, challenge and action?
Your family, normally only takes up the bulk of your first twenty years - the rest is yours to discover and make as you wish. Fifty years or more upwards. Don’t waste it in regrets of what might have been, if you had been born into the perfect family! Imagine yourself reborn today. Use your skills and abilities to create a new you. Study, examine, learn, change and become the person you would have been, if you had been raised in the perfect supportive family. You are your own family now - raise yourself up!
Q7. DOES THIS MEAN ALSO, THAT MY AUNTS, UNCLES, COUSINS AND GRANDPARENTS ARE ALSO PEOPLE, KARMICALLY LINKED TO ME?
A. Usually yes. Occasionally, you will incarnate with new souls, formerly unknown to you in your group. But, more than likely, you have journeyed to Earth, many times with the people who make up your immediate and extended family. Some of these people will owe you good karma and spontaneously help you in your life. Others may have been hurt by you in a past life and will attempt to harm you in this life, unless their better natures take over. Others will be pleasant to you, but detached about your joys and sufferings, offering neither help nor hindrances.
All beings incarnate in order to overcome any negative feelings that they have to those, that have hurt them in past lives, but often, they cannot overcome their basic feelings of distrust, anger or hate. So many, will follow the same pattern of behaviour, that they started in a past life. For instance, six lifetimes ago, you may have fought in battle and badly injured a soul who is now your cousin Mandy. You have known Mandy all your life, but, she has always been cold to you. As a child she refused to play with you and as an adult, seldom speaks to you at family gatherings. She does you no actual harm, and is normally a warm hearted person, but, her subconscious mind is reminding her that you harmed her in a past life and may do it again!
Rather than retaliate by wounding you physically, she avoids you. As you become more spiritually developed, you begin to subtly remember this past life, when you injured her. You have two choices - either tries to make up for your past misdeed, by being extra pleasant and helpful to Mandy or by sending her love and asking for forgiveness, via prayer and meditation. Also, it is necessary that you ask that any karma between you be dissolved for all time. You may find in time that Mandy will gradually begin to treat you with more warmth and affection, although she may not know the reason why!
Q8. I HATE AN UNCLE WHO ABUSED ME AS A CHILD, BUT WHO IS NOW DEAD. WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THIS?
A. Difficult as it may be, Dear One, you need to learn to forgive him, for your own sake. Firstly, because you are carrying hate around with you, that is detrimental to your health, emotions and mind and secondly because, if you don’t release and forgive him, you will inevitably forge a karmic bond with him, that will have to be replayed in another future life. Until, we become spiritually awakened and begin to see what life is really all about, we tend to follow the same patterns, with people within our family groups. In a future life, he may abuse you again, or conquer his abnormal cravings, through his own positive inner nature. You may have the chance to forgive him, once again - displaying your own unconditionally loving nature or perform the same act on him as revenge! People often incarnate time and time again, in the different roles of abuser and victim, until one breaks the cycle, through their own spiritual development.
Forgiveness is certainly a higher virtue than revenge. Hatred kept in the body can turn to cancer. Hatred kept in the mind - to depression or abnormal behaviour. While hatred in the soul causes you great pain and regret, when you pass over to the higher realms and lowers your spiritual development in this current life.
Q9. DO WE ALWAYS COME BACK AS THE SAME SEX?
A. No, you often change sex with different lives. This allows you the opportunity to feel what it is like to be a male and female. Especially in the past, they have often lived completely different types of lives. Think of the English crusader who went off to find the Holy Grail in the Holy land, while his wife stayed patiently at home, embroidering and bearing children. In the same way, you live as different races, for the wonderful experiences that they enable you to enjoy. Imagine being a Masai warrior tracking a lion, a Chinese Empress or a Viking setting forth to discover Greenland! This is also, why you change time frames and countries, so that you get a more rounded experience of being human. The diversity of Earth is truly amazing! Don’t you agree!
Q10. I’M AN ORPHAN AND DON’T HAVE ANY FAMILY, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
A. This means usually, Dear One that you wanted to try incarnating to Earth, totally independent of other people. You felt brave enough and strong enough, to begin the journey on your own. You may have been brought up in the traditional family scenario, in most of your other lives on Earth. This time, you wanted to try a really different experience.
It will also mean that your karmic ties are more likely to be with those who looked after you as a baby, perhaps the nurses and custodians at the orphanage. If you were later adopted, your karmic links will be with your adopted parents and adopted brothers and sisters. Remember, this has all been setup before you incarnated. You decided that you needed this experience and these kind souls have gone along with your story line. It is similar to a huge play that you write, direct and act in. The God force has the combined powers of a million computers, to plan your life and all it’s interactions. No experience or person, who enters it, is by accident. So make the most of the experience - it is a unique journey that only you, can travel!
Dear Ones, I send you my love and my heart, Mother Mary.
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